See la. Bile tak blog senyap sampai 80 hari (or so a certain someone claimed). Da start blog, berturut2 plak. hurhur.

 

 

So anyway, I just want to share something. I think, just like anyone else who have yet to perform the hajj, I’ve always prayed that I will be able to do so before I pass away. And during ramadhan, i have this habit of going on youtube and look for the melodious recitations of the surahs and qunut during tarawih prayers by the imams. And of course, personal favs are imam mishary, imam ghamidi and imam sudais. Just listening to them can make you weep. Ape lagi if you pray belakang dorang, dalam bulan ramadhan, in MASJIDIL HARAAM, performing pilgrimage.. Labbaikallahumma labbaik!

I remembered going to tarawih with cekza at masjid kassim. Right after we went to darul ma’wa children’s home for the tongues and heart programme. The imam for that day was ust hafiizh rapiiee. And he was reading surah arrahmaan, and the way he read it mcm imam mishary. Then he read the qunut. The qunut he was reciting was quite different from the ones I normally dengar from the local imams. Meaning power punye. Ape lagi, it got me and cekza weeping teresak2. Tu baru ust hafiizh.. So I kept telling myself, satu hari, i really really really really wanna pray blakang imam sudais in masjidil haraam.. :)

 

 

You know, I had the weirdest dream quite some time ago. I was sitting in this room, and there was this doctor breaking this horrifying piece news of me. Wanna know what she said? She said:

“You have only 3 months to live.”

I was dumbfounded. I didn’t know how to react. I was expecting myself to cry and wail or whatever, but I just didn’t. I just sat there, looked down, and suddenly I was having this monologue with myself..

“Hannah, takmu sedih. Kan you’ve already prayed to God, that your life won’t be taken away from you unless you’re ready for it? Just concentrate on being the best muslimah you can, and leave the rest to Allah…

You are ready, insyaAllah.”

Yeah right la. Sheesh. I bet I if that really happens.. Na’uzubillah, but.. At least mesti nangis punye ahh. Confirmed.

 

After that weird dream, something happened that made me think about the weird dream.  Weird I tell you. Tsk tsk. Takpelah, doakan ye semua:D

 

 

Anyway, then I had another weird dream. I was suddenly in front of MASJIDIL HARAAM! Betuuul. I was with my mum and this other person. And my mum and I were like tak sabar to masuk masjid la, when this person was like all, “aiya, let’s go home la..” I got so pissed off and chided him “Look at you! You’re right in front of masjidil haraam and you want to go home when other people can’t wait to get in?? What’s the mater with you?? What happened to your faith?? (yucks seh nak marah orang macam tu. hurhur)” So then he was like, ok ok. Come let’s go in together, and he started to chant kalimatuttauhiid over and over again.

Weird rigght.

Then ok, da masuk masjid, then my mum and I macam masuk this room. It’s super small la, like some local masjid punye ruang solat wanita. Ade curtains. And the funny thing was, the room was like, half-full with budak2 madrasah. Some were in their uniforms. And they were making a din. Macam kecoh2. I got so pissed off (again! haish) and approached them. “Eh, korang kat MASJIDIL HARAAM TAU. yang korang kecoh2 ni kenapa?” “dia ah ni merepek blablabla”. then i cudn’t be bothered coz the imam was about to start praying. so i went to the saff paling depan and stood beside my mum.

“Allaaahu akbar.”

!!!! Is that imam Sudais i’m listening to?? Then it started to sink in.. Is my dream coming true now?? Then suddenly I was like, eehhh lepas ni boleh pegi Madinah! Then suddenly, so suddenly, there was this very very strange feeling.. and i started crying uncontrollably..

I was suddenly missing Rasulullah saw. And MISSING is an understatement ah. Not that I’ve never missed him before, but this time around, it was very very different. Macam it realy felt like I’ve known him for a long long time, and I haven’t been meeting him.. You know.. that kind of feeling. It’s amazing I tell you. I swear it was the strangest but in a good way feeling I’ve ever felt in a dream.

And I can actually recall the feeling. Rindu sangat sangat sangat sangat. Ya Rasulallah, khuz biaidiina!:’(

 

 

Then just now. I was teaching at alkaff kan.. Then ade solat jenazah. In my 21 years of living, that was the first time ever I tengok how solat jenazah was being done ok. It was very.. I dunoe eh.. I stopped teaching for awhile, and my girls and I were just looking down at them praying. Seriously, it felt so.. Tak tau ape nak cakap. :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know this is yucky, but KALAU LA, betul, I were to die soon.. I just wanna apologise for all my wrongdoings. Halalkan eh kalau ade terhutang piutang sume. hihi. Do’akan hannah selalu ok? :)

Uhibbukum fillaah. :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mungkin, memang ade sebabnye awak risaukan kite. :)

 

 

 

 

 

Just wondering out loud,

Umm Sofiyyah.

4:14pm.