“If daily consumption is routine consumption, then peak consumption is characterized by  de-routinization….

For consumption to be a peak experience, either the object of consumption or the mode of consumption are new or scarce in daily reality….

Peak consumption is about the romanticization and enjoyment of life.”

- Ning Wang, 2002, The Tourist as Peak Consumer.

I wonder, does this apply to humans too? Then how is one supposed to de-routinize oneself?

Psst. I find this brilliantly depressing.

There you have it! My love-hate relationship with sociology. Chapter 1. Hurhur.

You know, I was talking to my friend the other day. I was just relating how marriage is so scary nowadays. Mana-mana we hear of stories of cheating spouses. And also how love is all based on superficial factors. It’s just very scary ah seriously. So my friend was saying, apa nak takut, if we are good spouses ourselves, then we will be able to get good spouses mah.

Yes, that’s true. But..

What if, God wants to test this good person through his marriage? Say, he is a good husband and a fillial servant of Allah, but his wife cheats on him. Bukan takde sejarah pun. Tengok je kisah Nabi Luuth, Nabi Nuh.. They all had wives who were the complete opposite of them.

So, how, I ask you? Scary right? Tsk tsk.

A pretty, pretty friend of mine who was recently engaged, once told me of her mother’s advice. It was something like,

You must be good to your mother-in-law. Because you see, the love of a husband for wife can be temporaral. So to make it last, you must tie it to something more lasting, which is the love of a son for his mother. If you’re good to his mother, you’ll make him very happy and he’ll end up loving you more.

If I’m not mistaken, gitu ah argument dia. Sorry ye kalau salah tapi macam betul ah. Heh.

But yes, makes sense, doesn’t it? A loving mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Gi dengar syarahan same2, shopping same2.. Bring it on. *main2 kening*

There was another friend who argued differently. He said, the only way to have a lasting marriage is to base the love for something ETERNAL. Which is, sebagaimana yang kite semua tau, GOD la. So he was saying, if he’s going to married, he will make sure that the reason he gets married is for God and God alone. Baru boleh cakap “Ana uhibbuki fillah” (I love you for the sake of Allah).

Nice. BUT..

When he said that, several things crossed my mind. Firstly, if the marriage is strictly for God, then, when do I as an individual comes in? I mean, kalau macam tu, any fatimah aminah or zainab can be the wife lah. Then what’s so special about me then? Then, if you follow this line of argument, you normally would say that when one marries someone for God, it kinda mean that you’re marrying the person for her religiosity. Ok, that’s nice la, but then surely I am not the most religious of all women. So what happens when there’s someone more religious than I am? Jeng jeng jeng. *kerut2 kening*

Secondly (and I am asking this with utmost sincerity and not a tinge of sarcasm hokey), HOW do you love someone STRICTLY for Allah? Like, really, HOW? Even when you love Rasulullah, it’s because of the stories we heard about him kan. Perjuangannya, kepimpinannya, his greatness as a family man.. You know what I mean? Jadi macam mana? I mean, even if you love someone for his religiosity, other factors will also come in ape. Like, for example.

“oh he’s so religious and very caring towards his ikhwah”

“oh he’s so religious and he has a certain charm when conveying his da’wah”

“oh he’s so religious and he is a good son“

You get what I mean taak. Haih.

Ok, some people might argue that loving someone for Allah is like the love a Muslim has for his brother. Like, how, say, somehow we have this strong feeling towards our ikhwah in palestine ke kan? Ok, maybe that, but to make someone your LIFE PARTNER? Is that ALL?

Do share with me if any of you guys have figured out, what’s loving for Allah is like, exactly. Boleh ehk? ;)

*********************************************************************************************************************************************

So, while we’re on the topic kan. I just want to share with you guys this very interesting book (which I shouldve done so waay back ah. But remember my MIA period from the blog? Ah, that’s why. Heh). So basically, this book is like a guidebook to a happy marriage like that la. But wait, before you dismiss this off as yet another typical, boring panduan perkahwinan.. I must say that I had the same preconception as well.. BEFORE reading the book, that is. I mean, ok, I admit, I ACTUALLY LIKE to read those boring panduans ok. Sampai da macam, able to predict the contents of a book before reading it. Sebab basically, macam same ah. But when I read this, I thought the author had lots of original ideas. And the stories yang she selitkan in between, I don’t know eh, I just find them enlightening, really:)

One of the most touching parts of the book kan, is this love letter written by a husband to his wife. Like, the wife did some mistakes ah, was negligent or something, and instead of scolding her or buat perangai, he WROTE HER A LOVE LETTER INSTEAD. How sweet kan! Here’s an excerpt of it:

“Isteriku yang tercinta, aku tidak menulis surat ini kecuali kerana aku menyintaimu. Engkau telah rela menjadikan ku sebagai suami dan aku telah menghibahkan (menghadiahkan) hidupku untukmu. Aku mengatakan kepada diriku, inilah seorang ibu dan isteri, inilah kasih sayang dan ketenangan, inilah hembusan angin Syurga yang ada di rumah ku, maka aku mengajak mu dan kita sama-sama menaiki perahu yang menuju ke pelabuhan bahagia di sisi Tuhan Yang Maha Pengasih. Tetapi, tiba-tiba aku mendapatkan badai di jalan yang kita lalui dan angin yang berhembus. Jika kita berdua tidak berhati-hati, maka kita akan kehilangan kendali perahu dan kehilangan arah. Aku mengatakan kepada diriku sendiri, “Tidak! Aku tidak akan meninggalkan perahu tenggelam, maka aku ambil pena dan kertas, dan aku tulis surat teguran. Teguran dari seorang kekasih kepada kekasihnya….”.

Amacam! Nice kan? *main2 kening dengan kuat sekali* That’s why this book is different. Besides the numerous advices and tips on how to handle different scenarios, these kind of things are included as well. And I like how the author included little, little details that we tend to overlook and take for granted. :)

So really, other than the language used (tah sape tah pengalih bahasa dia.), the content is highly recommendable. Bab bahasa tu, sudahlah, marilah kita saling memaafi( HAHA:p). Yang penting tu CONTENT nya ye CONTENT nye. :p

So to those yang belum kahwin tapi nak kahwin, or yang kenal orang2 yang nak dekat kahwin or dah kahwin, sile lah.. Do visit the muslim bookstores and look for this book. Belek2 sket, and then decide on it. InsyaAllah tak rugi ;)

So it’s priced at $15, and besides getting it from Darul Andalus, Muslimedia and other bookstores, you can also get this book (and other books from the same company) at http://www.alfawzaan.com/.

Sokonglah industri buku-buku agama tempatan :p

See la. Bile tak blog senyap sampai 80 hari (or so a certain someone claimed). Da start blog, berturut2 plak. hurhur.

So anyway, I just want to share something. I think, just like anyone else who have yet to perform the hajj, I’ve always prayed that I will be able to do so before I pass away. And during ramadhan, i have this habit of going on youtube and look for the melodious recitations of the surahs and qunut during tarawih prayers by the imams. And of course, personal favs are imam mishary, imam ghamidi and imam sudais. Just listening to them can make you weep. Ape lagi if you pray belakang dorang, dalam bulan ramadhan, in MASJIDIL HARAAM, performing pilgrimage.. Labbaikallahumma labbaik!

I remembered going to tarawih with cekza at masjid kassim. Right after we went to darul ma’wa children’s home for the tongues and heart programme. The imam for that day was ust hafiizh rapiiee. And he was reading surah arrahmaan, and the way he read it mcm imam mishary. Then he read the qunut. The qunut he was reciting was quite different from the ones I normally dengar from the local imams. Meaning power punye. Ape lagi, it got me and cekza weeping teresak2. Tu baru ust hafiizh.. So I kept telling myself, satu hari, i really really really really wanna pray blakang imam sudais in masjidil haraam.. :)

You know, I had the weirdest dream quite some time ago. I was sitting in this room, and there was this doctor breaking this horrifying piece news of me. Wanna know what she said? She said:

“You have only 3 months to live.”

I was dumbfounded. I didn’t know how to react. I was expecting myself to cry and wail or whatever, but I just didn’t. I just sat there, looked down, and suddenly I was having this monologue with myself..

“Hannah, takmu sedih. Kan you’ve already prayed to God, that your life won’t be taken away from you unless you’re ready for it? Just concentrate on being the best muslimah you can, and leave the rest to Allah…

You are ready, insyaAllah.”

Yeah right la. Sheesh. I bet I if that really happens.. Na’uzubillah, but.. At least mesti nangis punye ahh. Confirmed.

After that weird dream, something happened that made me think about the weird dream.  Weird I tell you. Tsk tsk. Takpelah, doakan ye semua:D

Anyway, then I had another weird dream. I was suddenly in front of MASJIDIL HARAAM! Betuuul. I was with my mum and this other person. And my mum and I were like tak sabar to masuk masjid la, when this person was like all, “aiya, let’s go home la..” I got so pissed off and chided him “Look at you! You’re right in front of masjidil haraam and you want to go home when other people can’t wait to get in?? What’s the mater with you?? What happened to your faith?? (yucks seh nak marah orang macam tu. hurhur)” So then he was like, ok ok. Come let’s go in together, and he started to chant kalimatuttauhiid over and over again.

Weird rigght.

Then ok, da masuk masjid, then my mum and I macam masuk this room. It’s super small la, like some local masjid punye ruang solat wanita. Ade curtains. And the funny thing was, the room was like, half-full with budak2 madrasah. Some were in their uniforms. And they were making a din. Macam kecoh2. I got so pissed off (again! haish) and approached them. “Eh, korang kat MASJIDIL HARAAM TAU. yang korang kecoh2 ni kenapa?” “dia ah ni merepek blablabla”. then i cudn’t be bothered coz the imam was about to start praying. so i went to the saff paling depan and stood beside my mum.

“Allaaahu akbar.”

!!!! Is that imam Sudais i’m listening to?? Then it started to sink in.. Is my dream coming true now?? Then suddenly I was like, eehhh lepas ni boleh pegi Madinah! Then suddenly, so suddenly, there was this very very strange feeling.. and i started crying uncontrollably..

I was suddenly missing Rasulullah saw. And MISSING is an understatement ah. Not that I’ve never missed him before, but this time around, it was very very different. Macam it realy felt like I’ve known him for a long long time, and I haven’t been meeting him.. You know.. that kind of feeling. It’s amazing I tell you. I swear it was the strangest but in a good way feeling I’ve ever felt in a dream.

And I can actually recall the feeling. Rindu sangat sangat sangat sangat. Ya Rasulallah, khuz biaidiina!:’(

Then just now. I was teaching at alkaff kan.. Then ade solat jenazah. In my 21 years of living, that was the first time ever I tengok how solat jenazah was being done ok. It was very.. I dunoe eh.. I stopped teaching for awhile, and my girls and I were just looking down at them praying. Seriously, it felt so.. Tak tau ape nak cakap. :)

I know this is yucky, but KALAU LA, betul, I were to die soon.. I just wanna apologise for all my wrongdoings. Halalkan eh kalau ade terhutang piutang sume. hihi. Do’akan hannah selalu ok? :)

Uhibbukum fillaah. :)

Mungkin, memang ade sebabnye awak risaukan kite. :)

Just wondering out loud,

Umm Sofiyyah.

4:14pm.

Haaaaaai! I know, I know. I thought I wouldn’t be posting anything else too. Hehe! But I guess I’ve yet to have the courage to abandon this blog totally. Nyehnyeh.

Last week was totally yucky. I had 3 deadlines in one week! Monday, Wednesday and Friday! Can you imagine that?? That’s the yuckiest string of deadlines throughout my semesters in sch. Haiseh. But hamdan lillah, everything is now over. Two more deadlines to meet, yep! But not as crazy as last week definitely. Phew~

Allow me to just share my term paper topics ok. The one due on Monday was my sociology of deviance paper. Guess what did we do on? Guess lah.. Haha. We did on NIQAB! Tau niqab? Yang tutup muke tu.. As many of my friends would say: “Macam ninja!”. So what we were doing was basically trying to establish that niqab is seen as a deviant act in Singapore, and we tried to further contextualise the issue by relating it to the multicultural ideology as elaborated by Geoffrey Benjamin (1975). The idea was suggested by the tutor for our module. He’s just so smart seriously. Too smart sampai after our consultation, my partner and I were LITERALLY having headaches! No kidding!  Never knew that thinking so hard can cause headaches ok! Luckily a hero came to rescue. Who else but your friendly neighbourhood, dean’s list sociology major, on his way to 1st class hons hero! No points for guessing. ;) So yep! Really hoping to get a good grade for this paper. InsyaAllah, biizinillah. :)

The Wednesday paper was my social theory paper. That is by far, the yuckiest module I’ve taken. Kalau tak compulsory, memang I would not have even considered taking it. Argh. Guess what I did on. The concept of ‘anomie’ but NOT as defined by Durkheim! I did the one defined by Robert Merton. I think I’ve been greatly brainwashed by my sociology of deviance lecturer. hihi. And I totally did asal boleh. It’s crappy, and I’m just praying that I’ll be able to get at least a pretty decent grade. Haih~

And and, the Friday paper was my sociology of tourism paper. It’s weird la this module, in the sense that it is different from the normal soci modules I’ve taken. It’s very anthro. It was done by the 3 of us. I think this is the first time I’m doing a paper with 2 people whom I’ve never known before. The first I did that was for my social psychology paper.. But at least my friend was with me. It’s an interesting experience, I must say. Ha ha. So we tried looking into the idea of the perfect holiday for the Singaporean Tourist, and we basically used Eugenia Peck’s thesis as a framework while adding new categories and proposals in our paper. Hope this goes well too. Hurhur.

And my essay due this coming Thursday, is for my Southeast Asian module: Idols, villains and jesters. And guess what, I haven’t even chosen a topic for it. *wails* But I’m considering on either the Arqam movement or on Malay shamans and black magic. Argh I can’t decide, and I’m too lazy to decide today. Pemalas na’uzubillah, as my mum would say. Hihi.

Why on earth am I rattling on about my term papers? Sorry ah, I suddenly feel like it. Hurhur.

Then, in the midst of my suffering in writing up term papers, I was reminded of a particular incident which happened during one of Madrasah Graduates’ Network event. (What is MGN? aha, I’ll tell you next time, insyaAllah. betol. serious la. jangan ketawa. tsk.) I invited my friend over to give a talk on Universiti Malaya since she’s doing her BA there. So then she came with two other pple, and one of them was our classmate. So then they were sitting down, and I approached them. An interesting conversation took place:

A: “Hannah.. kau da besar.”

Me: “Ah?? Aku da gemuk?? *muke cemas*”

N: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

A: “No no. I mean you’ve grown without me”

Me: “SIDEWAYS YOU MEAN? OH NOOO *looks at self*”

N: HAHAHAHAHAAH! A, I think you need to tarik balek ape yang kau cakap tadi. She’s still like how she was!”

Nyehnyeh. Ah the good old days. We all used to be close. And A, being one or two years older and us, and being blessed with a very sisterly-like personality (or motherly. hehe!) would always ‘take care’ of us. I’m missing those days :)

So back to what she said, I don’t know what could’ve triggered her to make such comment.. How have I ‘grown up’? But come to think of it, after some reflections, I think I have. I have come to change some of my perspectives, and I think, I will now react differently to certain situations as compared to how I would in the past. What have changed me? Lots and lots of things, I must say. But I hope it’s for the better. I pray that it is. And please, do pray for me too ya?

Just wondering out loud,

Umm Sofiyyah.

4th April 2009

7:40 pm