08.27.08
But strange is good :)
So here goes the second part of my controversial post.
Whether we like it or not, the views of others around us can really really affect us. And I think we’ve all experienced incidents in which we can testify to the statement. I’m sure I have. So why should I contribute to unnecessary pressure and distress to someone who wants to change for the better, just because I find her change a bit sudden and thus, making me uncomfortable? I mean, so what if I’m uncomfortable? I just need time and then I’ll get used to it, but this person is changing to improve herself, for God’s sake. Hal kecik sangat. Yes, it’s a teeny weeny issue that I might have blown out of proportion, but it’s not just about wearing a jubah of course. It’s this whole mentality on not being able to come to terms with other people’s change.
Just like the yellow ribbon campaign. “Unlock the second prison”. I think it’s worse off than prisons sometimes. At least when they’re in prisons they know that they are there because of a crime they’ve committed. But once they have stepped back into society upon the COMPLETION OF SERVING THEIR TERM, they are still receiving ‘punishments’ for a crime they DID NOT COMMIT. Just because they’ve done wrong before, does that mean they would never be right again? Does that mean that every crime that happens around them is committed by them? I know this is on a much, bigger scale, a more serious issue, but it boils down to the same thing I think – not being able to accept that OTHER PEOPLE WANT TO CHANGE AND THEY CAN DO SO. So we resist the change; by policing them to revert back to their old selves, their old behaviors, the ones we knew them by, be it directly or indirectly. :(
That’s why, sometimes, the first crime commited by someone might be 100% their fault, but the crimes of repeated offenders? There’s a huge tendency that people around them have a huge part to play in this crime of theirs indirectly.
Okkey. I’m digressing. Let’s get back on track shall we?
I used to wear short and tight-fitting clothes then. Then suddenly one day, I started wearing kurtas.. Then I proceeded to wearing bigger tudungs. Then once, upon seeing me in my longer tudung for the first time, someone said this to me:
“Kenapa pakai tudung besar? Da tinggal 40 hari ke?”
No, I didn’t know whether I had 40 days left on this world before I die at that point of time, so my change was definitely not because of that. Funny isn’t it the question? Looking back, I can laugh at it now, but back then.. ehem.. Maybe I was feeling sensitive at that point of time. Hehe. Then another interesting question I got was,
“Dah ada matair eh?”
Err. No. The change wasn’t because I found someone and he asked me to wear longer tudungs. Haha. No no no. At age 15, that idea seemed alien to me. Hehe.
And I could still feel this conscious feeling that people were scrutinising me when I first started wearing jubahs too. And really, I think, by that time kan, i was already rather immune to whatever people have to say da. Coz I think, no matter what, people won’t stop talking. And you can’t stop them. So, might as well do what you heart believes is right, and do it for the sake of God and yourself, kan?:)
Some sisters have shared with me, that sometimes, even wearing the tudung can invite unpleasant stares from people especially when voicing out opinions in tutorials or being the only one wearing it during lectures. :)
I shall end this post with a hadeeth from the Prophet saw. I love this hadeeth. Somehow it gives me the strength I need whenever I feel.. off. Hehe:)
بدأ الإسلام غريبا ، وسيعود غريبا كما بدأ ، فطوبى للغرباء
“Islam began as something strange and will revert to being strange as it began, so give glad tidings to the strangers.” (Muslim, 145)
So yes, we always feel that we’re the odd ones out. Even for Muslim brothers who have to leave everything and rush off to perform their Friday prayes and stuffs, but see? Islam did begin as something strange. And even in our context now, some aspects of our religion are still perceived as ’strange’ by those around us. So it’s a good thing that the Prophet has warned us of it 1400++ years ago, isn’t it? :) So, if you’re about to do something ’strange’, remember that somewhere in some parts of the world, our Muslim brothers or sisters are also doing the same things as what we are and being perceived as ’strange’ too.
Yes, strangely, we can all find commonality and bond under this beautiful strangeness.
So ikhwah, let’s not be afraid in embracing this beautiful ’strangeness’, shall we? :)
alfaqeer said,
August 28, 2008 at 7:31 am
Salam dear. :)
Hahaha this hit so close to home! Around the time of my ‘change’, I also got several looks and comments. The one comment I couldn’t forget was on the first day of school and I was wearing a jubah. I was talking to a friend and a guy who was at the same table asked me when I was going off “Nak pergi orang kahwin ke?”
I was offended at that time. But it didn’t last very long. Because I always always told myself this: Biar buruk di pandangan orang, jangan buruk di pandangan Allah. :)
Coincidentally, I also wrote a post about that hadith!
ummsofiyyah said,
August 28, 2008 at 7:35 am
Wsalam.
Helo sister. Ahlan:)
Hahaha. That’s why! But at least nak pergi orang kahwin. Ni kene tanye da nak mati ke. Sedih! hehe.
And you’re so right sis. Because everything is so subjective and there is no way you can please everyone. So what really matters is what God wants of us. :D
Oh really? I’ll link you up ya? :)
Fadhilah said,
August 28, 2008 at 12:54 pm
salam,
hehe, yes that Hadith.
as time passed by, and we learn tnew things, the way we think will be new as well. so for me, as i learn more and more, i started to change. and all those things that I used to do which i am not supposed to become such a loathsome thing for me, and i will avoid it.
and every second in life is a chance, so bile da dpt hidayah, why not try for a change?
strange it is for ppl, bt tat is becoz they dun understnd a thing abt us Muslimahs.
ummsofiyyah said,
August 28, 2008 at 2:34 pm
wsalam.
right on sis:)
eusof said,
August 29, 2008 at 1:33 am
Salaam.
i wanna put a comment on ur chatbox.
i realize you dont have one.
hmmm…
care to link?
http://hellomynameiseusof.blogspot.com/
ummsofiyyah said,
August 29, 2008 at 1:53 am
Wsalam.
Sure thing eusof. :)
redtide said,
August 29, 2008 at 7:02 am
Salaam ‘alaik..
hm.. the things people can say..*shakes head*..
A positive way to look at it is to keep an open mind about the nasty comments some people can fathom.. they are just plainly ignorant about the whole situation.. instead of asking questions they just assumed and made their own conclusions..
reminds me of terms such as “assumption is the root of all evil” and “empty vessel makes the most noise”
however, we shouldn’t just keep criticizing them and leave them in they lurch..try to bring them into understanding
And do it by presenting ourselves as exemplary muslims.. show that we are not just muslims by how we dress but show them that muslims excel in all areas.. portray the good image that Islam teaches so that whenever someone looks/interacts/get to know a muslim/muslimah next time, the encounter will leave the person thinking.. “hmm this is what Islam is about..kewl”
and yea.. the hadith.. strange is good!! alhamdulillah..
ummsofiyyah said,
August 29, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Wa’alaikassalam.
Yeah.. Unnecessary assumptions are never good I guess. Even in the Quran Allah has mentioned that negative assumptions or “suuzzhon” are to be stayed away from.
And you’re right. Sometimes the best way to get them to understand is to not talk but to lead by example. Islam is not just merely symbolic and ritualistic but it’s the comprehensive way of life.
And yes the hadeeth. We all just love it, don’t we? :)
Jazaakallah.
dhuha said,
August 29, 2008 at 3:06 pm
:) :) :)
ummsofiyyah said,
August 29, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Hehehe. ;)
fana said,
August 29, 2008 at 3:29 pm
salam alaik.
you know, i get the same thing when i start to change. hopefully for the better la kan, insyaAllah. a lot of weird questions were shot at me. but ya like you, they all seemed nowhere near a bother to me. alhamdulillah.
anyway, saya nak tanya awak la. are you kak wan’s (wan firzaleenazrah) anak sedare, or do you by any chance know abg mok? sorry eh bertanya. just to reaffirm tk salah orang. haha!
ummsofiyyah said,
August 29, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Wa’alaikissalam wr wb.
Alhamdulillah, good for you sis:)
Oh tidak. Saya tak kenal pun kak wan dan abg mok. Sorry fana! :)
fana said,
August 29, 2008 at 6:05 pm
oh yeke? alamak. paiseh dah. but were you from wak tanjong?
ummsofiyyah said,
August 30, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Hehe. Ya, I was. For my A’levels. Fana ni fana mana ehk?
fana said,
August 30, 2008 at 5:11 pm
saya fana yang awak tak kenal. hahaha!
we met at the toilet before. after that at musollah. or better known as fanadodol or farhana MI. i’ve seen you at bahas comps beberapa kali. :)
ummsofiyyah said,
August 31, 2008 at 6:36 am
Oooh. Ok. hehe. cute gitu fanadodol. Hihi. Maybe kalau tengok muka boleh kenal la. Hehe. Kalau jumpe lagi kat luar tegur ye? Jadi boleh hi hi bye bye. hehe:)
redtide said,
August 31, 2008 at 6:35 pm
just to share this article.. ada lah sikit kena mengena ngan hal muslimah “from jeans to jubah” nie.. (“,)
http://saifulislam.com/?p=2643#more-2643
ummsofiyyah said,
September 1, 2008 at 3:16 am
Thanks for sharing. Jazaakallah. Nice article! (“,)